Humans have the ability to override their biology through self-discipline. We are not caged by our biology, we have the choice to be free. Structure and routine may sound limiting and boring but, in fact, it is the very thing that grants you freedom. What a counter-intuitive concept! But if you take the time to consider what consistent self-discipline can do for you, you might just surprise yourself.
Self-discipline, why bother?
Quite often, we tend to give up on the things we do right at the precipice of a breakthrough. Tricky thing is, we often do not know that we are on the verge of a breakthrough until we look back on it later with our 20-20 hindsight. What if you didn’t give up at the first sign of struggle or mental fatigue? What if you pushed yourself to stay consistent and to finish what you started? What are the possibilities then? Do you have any idea what you are capable of? I dare to guess that most people have no clue.
“Good things take time, as they should. We shouldn’t expect good things to happen overnight. Actually getting something too easily or too soon can cheapen the outcome”
– John Wooden
For most things in life self-discipline really is that key that allows you to unlock it. That next level, that extra oomph! If at this point you’re thinking: ‘Sign me up. I want some of that.’ then make sure to read on. We will break down the steps you can take to get you started with your journey to build and develop your self-discipline. We make a point of saying that this is not a quick fix self- help guide. There is no such thing, so no need to go looking for it. Building a good foundation and developing yourself takes time. But my goodness, it is WORTH IT!
Not just another self-help list
The internet is littered with self-discipline and motivational content. I do not want to bore or discourage you with yet another self-help list so let’s get straight to the point.
What does self-discipline really mean?
It has 3 aspects: self-control, focus, and procrastination. Where self-control and focus make up the key ingredients for conscious action.
Highly disciplined people are able to take more conscious action and are able to resist and or reduce their tendencies to procrastinate. As a result, in the long run they increase their mental health and overall well-being.
Self-discipline = (Self-control + focus) – procrastination
Note: Conscious action = self-control + focus
How does this apply to me?
Not the cold turkey!
As complex beings, it is extremely overly simplistic to say that we should just stop doing something or eliminate a certain behavior from our repertoire. By now we all know better, it really isn’t that simple. Everyone has their own unique cocktail blend of this self-discipline equation that works for them. Life is all about the art of balance and sure enough this also applies here. Too much of anything is not a good thing therefore it is so vital that we take the time to understand how much of a thing works for us.
It’s all in the balancing act
It is in finding this balance where everyone tends to differ in opinion. Rightfully so, because based on different personality traits needs can vary quite significantly. If you’re not built to just do away cold turkey style with your tendency to procrastinate then the next best thing is to find your sweet spot. Find out how you can compensate this behavior by working on increasing your focus and self-control.
Unpopular opinion alert, I do not think it is a bad thing to procrastinate. I think to a certain extent our tendency to procrastinate is linked to our personality. Those with high levels of perfectionism, future-focused thinking, who crave novelty or thrive under pressure for example are more inclined to procrastinate (Justin Brown, 2024). Most people do not notice it because they have such high levels of self-control and focus. But if you’re lacking in either one of the conscious action areas then it will show in your increased tendency to procrastinate.
Where to start?
“It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.”
– Edmund Hillary
Find out what your natural tendencies are. Do you procrastinate? If so, how much? How developed are your self-control and focus levels? What are your areas for improvement?
For example, I want to improve my self-control levels because I know it will help me regulate my impulses, behaviors and emotions in alignment with my long-term goals. Then, not having this alignment with my long-term goals makes it easier for me to slip into default procrastination tendencies. Let’s say I have a high level of focus but I need to learn to stay on track. Then, it helps to work on my self-control, so that I can finally apply my focus to help me benefit from conscious action.
Time for self-reflection
So ask yourself, what do you need to work on? if you struggle with self-discipline what area can you work on to improve it? Is it your focus or self-control? If you have a hard time answering these questions try taking notes of your daily actions. They say what gets measured gets managed and nothing could be more true. By making yourself aware of your actions you can determine which are conscious and which are subconscious or passive actions. Which actions contribute to and align with your long-term goals? Which actions, keep you from achieving these goals? Do you perform more conscious or passive actions?
If you notice that you perform more actions that are not aligned with your long-term goals, then there is work to be done my friend!
Where to start when taking action?
1. Understanding your natural inclination to procrastinate
Find out what is it about Procrastination that has such a chokehold on the majority of us. Why is it so hard to resist and what can we possibly do to function in this society without completely succumbing to it?
2. Increasing your ability to focus
Learn to reduce the noise and zone in on one thing at a time. Improve your focus by becoming highly skilled in the art of single-tasking instead of multi-tasking.
3. Tackling low self-control
Self-control is our capacity to monitor our internal conflict and this capacity is essentially a reserve that we have. This means it can be depleted and replenished. To better understand how to tackle your self-control it helps to know what can impact this reserve:
- – Emotional Regulation | Suppressing or regulating our emotions too much can leave you with a drained self-control tank.
- – Stress | Distracts us by occupying our mind with past and/or future worries which in turn also drains the self-control tank.
- + Meditation | Helps us be in the present which helps us become more aware of ourselves and our surroundings.
Funnily enough, what it comes down to is actually not about controlling the internal conflict but rather about actively monitoring this internal conflict. The moment we seize to monitor our internal conflict is when we lose our self-control. Therefore, self-control is really about awareness and specifically about actively monitoring our internal conflict.
So, if you find that your self-control tank is consistently low, you might want to consider looking into ways to counter this. Start with identifying whether emotional regulation and/or stress is the culprit in your situation. From there you can look into finding ways to reduce it. Of course, adopting mindfulness practices that work for you can also help fill up that tank!
Takeaways
Self-discipline, we all want some of it, but some days it feels impossible. The good news is self-discipline is a skill you can develop! This post breaks down the three key ingredients: self-control, focus, and overcoming procrastination. Learn how to identify your strengths and weaknesses, and craft a personalized plan to build your self-discipline muscle. Remember, building a strong foundation takes time and effort, but the rewards are endless!
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“Self-discipline is the ability to choose between what you want now and what you want most.“
– Abraham Lincoln
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The Millennial State of Happiness 